Friday, February 17, 2012


Well, let me just jump right in...

I am on day 5 of 31 without soda and fast food. I feel lighter. Like a weight has been lifted. Not sure if I have actually lost weight due specifically to this because I am also tracking calories with the MyFitnessPal app on my handy dandy always by my side iPhone.

I enjoy chatting with / sharing photos with my IG (instagram app) girls. And this afternoon, a girl posted a photo of a half eaten glazed donut. OMG YUM. But I was able to rationally say that it looked tasty and didn't have that overwhelming desire/need to go find one for myself. Nor did/do I feel that I needed to make a point to get one or twelve when next I am in a town with donuts readily available. *This* is huge for me. Not over the course of my entire life but rather over the course of the last ten plus years.

I was a naturally thin girl virtually from my birth in the spring of 1973 until the early summer of 1999. I moved back in with my parents as an adult and mother of a young child. I suddenly ate when my parents ate. I ate because there was always food around and in some ways, my parents associated an abundance of food with wealth and eating as a group social activity. I didn't eat a crazy amount but I did eat and I went up two pants sizes in two months. And I didn't stop there.

Well, I have made the decision recently that I want to be thin again and eat whatever I want whenever I want. But to do that... I need to be aware of when, why, and how much I eat. I need to exercise and document my food intake. I need to be mindful of what I am doing and re-learn how to be.

A big reason might be that I am just over a year away from the big 4-0. A bigger reason might be that I want another child (or two or four). And I need to get to a smaller number on the scale to help facilitate that deep desire.

I have already noticed a change in my body. My jawline is tightening up again. I am eating smaller portions. And though I still like sweets, I can resist. But I am not sure how I am going to handle birthday cake, which is my biggest temptation and the absolute hardest for me to resist. There is something about cake and buttercream icing that I makes me all weak in the knees without an ounce of resistance in sight. Yep, birthdays are going to be the death of me and my desire to get smaller/healthier and pregnant.

Remembering that just because it looks good and tastes good doesn't mean that it is good for me is sometimes easier said than done.

Ok. Enough rambling about food.

I hope you are enjoying your Friday night.

Lots of sewing took place here today and tomorrow, I will ship my Martha items to New York.

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